We have been left with a legacy from human kind as it has developed and evolved over the years, one that is harming us all.
We have been taking on board the idea that we are not good enough.
Right from the moment we were told the story of Adam and Eve all those thousands of years ago, we were fed with the idea that it was a mistake to make our own decisions and not do as we were told.
At school we are told to follow the rules and regulations if we want to get ahead. Then suddenly, we are thrust into the adult world of work where yet more decisions are taken out of our hands and the rules are piled on.
We have very little experience of who we are when we are being: experienced enough, qualified enough, old enough, wise enough, advanced enough…ANYTHING enough to be able to lead, teach, show, learn, achieve or be successful.
So it’s no wonder then, that many of us at some point, feel that we are an imposter – proclaiming to be something that we secretly feel we are not. Plagued with the niggling thought that we need to keep our heads down, to hide and hope that no one will find out who we really are. We worry that maybe we aren’t as clever as the person we have a meeting with, that we aren’t experienced enough to be taking on the job we have been asked to do, that we are winging it, that life is conspiring to expose our flaws and show everyone that we are, in fact, crap.
The truth is that unless you know someone who has reached a stage where they are so perfect that they are no longer human then you can rest easy – no one here qualifies as a God, so it’s all fine – we are flawed, imperfect, muck up, mess up and wing it sometimes (maybe most of the time).
All you need to remember is the following: It is completely impossible for you to be an imposter in your own life.
There is no one who does you as well as you do. Sure, they might have more university degrees or higher grades than you, they might have been doing what you do for longer, they might seem more confident or they might say things in a way you wish you could, they may have more money, more outward signs of success…but they have been successful at being THEM! That’s all you want to aim for too…being successful at being you.
An imposter is someone pretending to be someone they are not.
We might suspect that we are not who we say we are, we may concern ourselves with the idea that maybe we are acting in a different way to usual and this is somehow a fraudulent representation of ourselves…but think about it for a minute…if it is not YOU acting in a different way to usual then who is it? Some other version of you that stepped into your body and took it over? No! It’s still you!
Unless you are outright lying to people about your qualifications, experience or knowledge (not the same thing as Imposter Syndrome) then it is not a problem, you ARE who you say you are. Sure you might have day’s when you don’t feel quite as ‘on form’ as other days but that doesn’t meant the competent you has disappeared, or was never there in the first place!
But what of those times when you are faced with the fact that you have done some work or created something that someone might be able to criticise? When you are worried that they will say something along the lines of: ‘this is a load of rubbish, I have been learning about Imposter Syndrome for 30 years and I completely disagree’. So what? They can disagree! It’s all subjective. I can’t think of a single subject on which all humans agree…not one. We can’t even all agree on whether we really exist or not. Even the face of evidence that most people wouldn’t be able to dismiss we can’t ALL agree that the world is round.
There will always be someone who does not agree with you. That’s ok…the world needs new ideas, new thoughts, new ways of seeing things and who better to offer your ideas than you!
When you are just doing you, you are at YOUR best. When you are being true to YOU you are at your best. When you are delivering your thoughts, your ideas, your work, your best effort, your experience, your background, your influence, your expertise, your knowledge, your wisdom, your lessons…then no one can find you out.
There is no other…
You are the only person in your life who is authentically, truly, fully, wonderfully, you.